Anewlife2012

This week I decided to go back to Yoga class..its been 18 months since I contorted my body into a pretzel...after that I decided to just eat pretzels...that is why I am in such bad shape. I got to the Gym 5 mins before class started..I ran from the car park up 15 steps ( which made me so out of breath , I thought I should turn around and sleep in the back of the car for an hour) burst into the yoga room ...which was packed to the gills ..there was only 1 spot left ..next to 2 women in full on burkhas. Not to be a believer in stereotypes...ok I am a believer in stereotypes...all I could think was no one wanted to do Yoga next to Mrs Al-QUEDA and her daughter Jihadi. So I put my mat down next to Al and Jihadi and then marveled at the fact that they were going to do yoga in the tents they were wearing. They both looked at me like I was the side show freak...all I could see was pity in their eyes...well ALL I could see was THEIR eyes. So we started off the class very gently ..as we progressed to harder poses I noticed they could do them like pros ..tent and all . Me on the other hand just sat there gulping water amazed at their dexterity wearing so many layers. I then realized that the burkhas could hide a multitude of sins..maybe I should get one then no-one could see how fat I really was..but then people would judge you , place you in a stereotypical category of being a terrorist. What was worse being fat or being a terrorist...DEFINITELY being FAT was the worst. So what if I was mistaken for a terrorist and ended up at Guantanamo ...well at least the orange jump suits would hide my rolls of fat...and water boarding might fill me up with enough water that I would not want to eat a family size bag of Wavy Lays..hmmm truly hard to find a downside to the whole scenario.At the end of class I just lay on my mat spread eagle like some giant Moose that had just been shot panting,covered in sweat. Al and Jihadi then looked at me not just with pity this time...but with a little bit of disgust. They are probably thinking if this is what women's equality and democracy leads to ..hell I am happy being downtrodden and being classed as a possession along side my husbands goats at least we are thin and healthy...not like Moose lady.Where do you think you go and buy a burkha? Burkha Barn, Burkha Republic, Burkhas R US..Burkha Bros...I could go on ...